And Hugh Hefner Dies

And Hugh Hefner dies. The end of a life well lived. A man that fought for sexual liberation, civil rights, human rights for the gay populace, so much more than a business tycoon that made his money on an empire of sex.

In the passing of Hugh Hefner what automatically came to my mind?

It was not sex or nudity or the exploitation of women. It was of a business man that started small and grew in leaps and bounds.

My real introduction to the Playboys creator was sitting on my Uncle's Couch at the end of Grade 5,snuggled up covered in cats and Afghans after flying in by Helicopter to this very remote Shake Block Camp in Northern Vancouver Island. The rain pounded on the tin roof, the copper pipe wound around the chimney of the wood stove to feed the hot water for the shower and I was bored. Off I trotted over the plywood floor to the nearest pile of magazines. Was it that weekend that I learned that sex and politics where bed mates?

I was a voracious reader at that point, and had already discovered a box of Playboy and Penthouse Magazines tucked away in my Stepfathers barn. Nudity was not new to me, but the articles were. I can not remember exactly what was in the articles that day, but I can remember feeling very grown up. Sitting there listening to the fire, the wind and the rain, and reading about some sports draft gone wrong, or an interview with Trudeau. Who knows what it was but Hugh was so much more than sex.

Did he embody all the family values of the sixties and seventies? No! Did he offer women that were thrown away by families and friends a chance to have it all? Yes.

As a feminist I believe in freedom of choice for all. Some of those women, if the industry Hugh Hefner made publicly acceptable had not been created, would have had no choices at all.

He was civil rights, he was a man that fought for liberty for homosexuals, was a man that did and said what he wanted. Someone I strive to be. Not Hef, do not get me wrong. I do not want to be Hugh Hefner, but I would like to emulate some of his great qualities; a person that does and says what they want. Something to strive to be.

Hugh as a child was not given the gift of a loving and warm home. Raised in a home with very little human contact. After the little bit of research I did about his beginning it appears to me like an extremely conservative start. One that did not allow casual contact, ie touch, and did not emulate what love is. Not the kind of love I know.

Did he possibly over the years fill this space in his life with sex?

Who am I to say?

Did he ever find true, strong and kind love? I hope so.

I can only imagine what this brilliant, conservative based, liberal minded mans struggles where. I believe that more than likely, like all of us, he had many. No one ever wants to think of the great ones struggles. How they fight for liberty and freedom for all. Often they just want to criticize and castigate.

Well this woman says, "Life well lived!"

May we have a laugh today for a man that broke ground for human rights for everyone of us. For men, for women, for black, white, rich and poor. For the unloved and those thrown aside by a society that historically has been too quick to judge.

I felt the need to say something today. As a 42 year old women that has been objectified at times, and vilified for my ability to think, and speak my own mind, I feel that my life would have been less if had not been for Mr. Heffner. Men like Hugh that had not been loved as a child, as I believe children should be, and stiil have had the strength, drive and ambition to continue on; these men have taught me that I am worth more than no one but I can determine.

Here is to empires created, and those that crumble over time. To growing old with grace, and never forgetting passion, and always remembering that love wins all, and he won a lot.

Thank you Hugh Hefner to the change you created in my world. If nothing changes, nothing grows, and no one learns. May he find the love he was looking for, or maybe he already did. I hope so.