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Welcome to my perspective ebbing and flowing like time slipping through our fingers, liquid cascades over the rocks to settle momentarily in the pools of the river.  So does ones thoughts, picking up sticks, bugs and debris, as it travels between the banks. 

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Splashing, rolling and then  ricocheting off the reality of the moment.  My hips locked into the cockpit, leaning back reaching behind me with my left arm, body stretching, sinew tearing, reaching the paddle face for the brace that will allow me to flick my hips, pulling my boat around the tail end of my underwater orbit. My left shoulder twinging as the paddle face grabs the last leg of the roll.  Shaking off the water, my face breaking the surface, mouth spitting crisp clean water, I taste life for a moment.  Freedom. 

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Paddle up, both elbows right angled.  Looking from down river, appearing as though I am carrying an invisible box on my head.  Squaring myself ensuring the stable recovery.   

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Leaning back, skirt pulling just enough to feel the water pinging, each droplet like a bullet on the fabric.    No time for rest, as I rise onto the next roller.  Propelled with the current, my bow breaks and rises over the top, alternately dropping each blade left, right, left, right, sitting on the rise for a moment before I allow myself to be propelled forward.  So little control, yet so much, balancing on the tip of the roller.    Then back down into the flow, where all you can do is learn how to bounce well. Bruise easy heal fast, keep your upper lip stiff, and always be ready. 

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Prevention in life is the best remedy, but never creates change, and life without change, is boring, and that leads to bored.  I do not do boring.  Boring leads to self pity and self pity leads to dis-ease.   Welcome to Covid-19.

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Change forced by the rush, the push, the pace of it all, is a necessity to humanities existence.  Instead of changing, growing, becoming more than we were, building off of our roots; we have perpetuated the same cycles of fear and hate. 

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Fearful to lose power, power we are unworthy of, showing our lack of worth daily, every time we intentionally create chaos, hurt another, or take from another, because we want what they have, regardless if it is ours or not.  

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You tried to control something that refused you.  Something that was uncontrollable?  A river? A mountain?  Gravity?  A heart? 

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Did the ventricular force eventually get the better of you?  I know the rapid patter, not of little feet, but of a heart that another has tried to manage.

 -----Written July 13th, 2020

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